Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Good days, Bad days

Have completed 2 months of my US trip... one more month to go... How has it been? Well, collection of good days and bad days... First month was wonderful... new place, new people, new experience... second month, not so good... work frustrations, sleepless nights, loneliness, addiction to internet, useless chatting with people for hours... I have my share of good days when I get appreciation for the work I am doing, when I watch a good movie, when I have a fulfilling conversation with someone (colleague, friends, family), when at the end of a day I feel the day was utilized well and I am tired enough to go to sleep... Then there are bad days when I am not satisfied with the work I have done, when I have to go on for hours without anyone to talk to, when the dish I want to cook turns out awful, when the house is in mess and I am too tired to clean it up...
One thing that I constantly keep thinking, how can I keep my sanity even at the end of a bad day? And the only answer I can think of is, on my bad days, I need the assurance that the love that my family and friends have for me has not changed a bit... Even when I am frustrated, I am irritated, I am not able to keep up with the pressure, I just need to know that my friends and my family still love me and want me... Just knowing that can turn a bad day into any normal day and I can be at peace... Since I am far from family and friends, and I cannot reach them whenever I want to, my bad days become worse... So, that's me realising how important it is to be near family and friends... I have always been choosy about the people I meet, people I talk to, people I hang around with... I don't like people being dependent on me, people waiting for me, people clinging to me... I like the freedom... so I assumed staying alone is not a problem for me... But now I know, how much I would like my family and friends to be near me...I admit, I am very casual about keeping in touch... I don't call up my friends very regularly, many times I am lazy about returning their calls... Perhaps I had taken them for granted... But now I want to make that extra effort and make them feel as much wanted as I want to feel now...